[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 5PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

“Have you seen this REAL boy?”

The SLAM PORTAL returns to the MILLION DOLLAR STAGE to witness a RISE OF THE CENTRAL MACHINE. Who will become a victim of this JUDGEMENT SLAY? We don’t know! We quite recently decided to have AI develop the card; and are anticipating HUGE results until an eventual stock market crash destroys our small business. Your move, IRS… if you’re even running. 

Folks, a lot has been happening despite the deep state’s attempt to sabotage our shows through weather manipulation.

-We have received word that DOC VRGO is working to obtain multiple sources of REPTILIAN DNA. We’ve been trying to keep an open mind, but this typically falls under the diabolical plan genre. 

-SPACE TIGER JR. JR. recaptured the MEGA-WOLF-MODE TITLE through a REMATCH CLAWS and subsequently banished his father (the one with the shorter name) from the SLAM PORTAL UNIVERSE INDEFINITELY. Not chill.

-BIG DADDY BOLERO will FINALLY go head to head with YACHT ROCK DADDY in a MAIN EVENT LAST DAD STANDING MATCH. What could possibly go down? One of them for sure. These guys won’t be leaving the Davenport for days after this one! 

There will be SLAMS, there will be PAIN, there will be competitors leaping from the top turnbuckle into the SKYNET brought to you by META. If you’re wondering why this show description is Terminator based but our flyer is Reanimator based, it’s fine. Things are fun!

Make your way to CENTRAL MACHINE WORKS on Saturday, 11/22/25, 5pm if you’re into said fun. THE CUPS, THE PORTAL, and THE FUTURE ALL ANTICIPATE YOUR ARRIVAL! No pressure.